My mother-in-law has acquired the bad habit of calling in the early afternoon to say that she'll be stopping by "in a bit" to drop something off. My husband always tells her that it's fine because we'll be around (nevermind that by "we" he means me because he's at work).
Her definition of "in a bit" differs drastically from mine. I think of it as meaning in the next half hour or so. She means in a few hours, usually right at 5:30, when I'm putting dinner on the table. It's happened often enough that I don't think it's a coincidence.
She'll show up just as I'm getting the kids to wash their hands and set the table and will end up distracting them. I used to try to hold out on putting dinner on the table in the hopes that she'd drop off whatever it is she used as an excuse to come over, but I ruined a few dinners that way. Turns out meatloaf isn't any good more than an hour past its finished time.
So now I grit my teeth and put on my best fake smile and say, "I'm just putting dinner on the table. Would you like to join us?"
She always acts surprises and asks, "Are you sure? Do you have enough?" Like I could actually say no to either of those questions.
So our fun family dinner time turns into strained family dinner time, at least for me. I don't enjoy her company and don't enjoy having to make idle chit-chat. It's even more uncomfortable when my husband is running late and I end up having to entertain her solo.
Any suggestions on how to cut this habit off?
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Tell her you will only be home during certain hours in the day. Or does she live really close by? I'm guessing she does. Oh, this sounds frustrating!
ReplyDeletePoison her?
ReplyDeleteMy MIL never comes over because we don't keep booze in the house.
Meet her at the door, take whatever it is she is bringing, and say "Thanks so much! See you later!" and close the door. That's what I would do!
ReplyDeleteCook only enough for the you, hubby and the kids, really. Try, I would invite you to stay for dinner, but I've only cooked enough for the 4 of us..If you had let me know you wanted to come for dinner......
ReplyDeleteI would be furious.
I have a very similar situation but it's both my MIL and FIL, regularly. At dinner time. I've tried waiting, and ruined dinner. I've tried explaining how little there is and shared anyhow. I have found only 1 effective maneuver... get pissy and leave to get take out pizza. Save dinner for the next night, provided they don't show up again. They get the hint, for a while.
ReplyDelete