Whose day is it anyway?

Not only do I have to deal with a mil, my husband's grandmother lives in our town, and she can be just as difficult.

Last weekend she was at the house, and as she was leaving, she asked what were were doing this weekend, Sunday in particularly. I've learned through the years not to give her any concrete answers to this kind of question. When I said that I needed to check my calendar because I was pretty sure that one of the kids had a soccer game, she invited us for lunch on Sunday because my husband's sister and her husband would be in town. When I again said that I needed to check the calendar, she said, "Plus, it's mother's day."

Aha. I knew there was a reason she was asking in such a roundabout way. She was hoping we'd commit to coming for lunch before we realized it was mother's day.

After she left, I told my husband that there was no way I was going to spend my mother's day cramming the kids into nice clothes, take them to his grandmother's house only to chase them around to make sure they weren't breaking any of her knick-knacks or spilling something on her white carpet, and making polite small talk with people I don't really have anything to talk about with. I also said that since I was the only one in the group who was actively mothering, I had the right to decide what I was going to do on mother's day without getting any grief from anyone.

Fortunately, my husband is on my side, and when his mother called to see what we were doing, he told her that neither of us would be going to brunch and that if they wanted to see the kids (which is what they really want anyway), she could take them with her to brunch so that I could have some quiet time.

So I did get my day to myself. But it would be nice not to have the silly stuff before hand.